“How to cure a loss of libido at 50? “

SOS MAÏA

In theory, sexuality is no longer taboo. In practice, there are questions that we dare not ask anyone … In any case, anyone who can judge us (partners, friends) or recognize us (doctors, shrinks). Some confessions are bottles in the sea, anonymous, which are almost private diaries. Some questions, on the other hand, could concern millions of people and would benefit from being discussed collectively.

For years now, the columnist of “La Matinale” Maïa Mazaurette (who is not a sex therapist, let us remember!) Has received hundreds of messages. She now answers them once a month, as part of her Sunday column, with her proverbial good humor – and her very personal obsession with a host of statistics.

At 50 years old, my libido has totally disappeared. Even porn movies don’t have any effect on me anymore. However, I am not in depression. How to cure it ?

Ah, here comes the andropause! Between the ages of 45 and 55, many men experience an “androgen deficiency” characterized by a decline in the production of testosterone – the key hormone of sexual desire. Erections are not the only collateral damage associated with age: decrease in muscle mass, loss of hair, concentration disorders… The list goes on.

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No need to throw yourself out the window, however (the weather is really bad anyway): you can simply talk to your GP, or to your andrologist or urologist. You may be prescribed a testosterone supplement.

During our sex, my boyfriend enjoys less physical sensations than pornographic images that he creates in his head. Since he confessed to me that he was not “with me” when we made love, I block.

Who owns our thoughts when we make love? If we had to be romantic, the least of our neurons would be turned towards our partner. But if we had to be realistic, we would recognize that our circuit of excitation results from a learning process: gesture after gesture, fantasy after fantasy, image after image, we condition our desire.

Repetitive viewing of pornography is not just a hobby: it creates automatisms. However, this information, not many people give it to us at 14 years old (or 13, or 12), when the first X content falls under our eyes (and right in the synapses). Result: rare are the lovers who have grown up since the days of televisual porn (Canal + got started in 1985, a year after its launch) whose brain knows no pornographic conditioning.

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