The sun has just risen, another beautiful day … The eldest is in the pie and the second does not want to eat. How many times do I have to tell them to dress? And the shoes, where are the shoes !!? “HURRY, WE’LL BE LATE”! Mornings at home don’t always look like a Ricoré moment (for those who have known commercials😉) …
It must be said that the timing does not generally work in our favor: once again, our constraints as adults push us to hurry the children! No time to “take the time”. It is limited if on this subject, we do not regret the confinement 😅. If it is certainly easier to enjoy mornings with the family on weekends, we are not going to be under stress at home every morning of the week? So, what morning routine for a healthy start to school? Here are some keys to creating more serene mornings …
First key to a serene morning: gentle awakening
As with adults, there are early risers… and night owls! Some children are very early in the morning, and for others, it is the opposite: impossible to wake them! He hangs out in bed and that drives us nuts (especially if we’re early risers).
At the same time, let’s admit that our desire to get up is often linked to our motivation to go into our day! Let’s admit that “going to school” (like going to work) is unfortunately not the incredible kiff of all children to wake up enthusiastic about this “beautiful day ahead”. It is very likely that if we were to go to Eurodisney, he would have much less trouble getting up …
And if finally, instead of opening the curtains wide or turning on the light in an untimely way (for sensitive children, this is rather felt like an aggression in the morning), it was more efficient to transform this moment into “the best time of the day”. With a gentle awakening, hugs, or telling her why this day is going to be a beautiful day.
3 minutes that we allow ourselves to take the time can be enough to be happy to wake up together, and that’s already enormous.
Second key to a peaceful start to school: helping them can “help”
Getting dressed can sometimes be a complex step in the morning routine… and this, whatever the age! It annoys us. Our thoughts begin to intertwine in our brain ” How is it that he is not more autonomous? « , « How can he take so long? He makes no effort! » « It’s crazy this ability to make us all late, no respect for others! »
In reality, our child does not slow down “on purpose to annoy us”. He usually doesn’t mean to make us late either. He just behaves “like a child” … In short, he is in his world. Moreover, he does not really have the notion of time. And finally, his motivation to leave is very often close to zero … So, beware of the scoop: so that you don’t have to yell at him anymore and so that he “accelerates”, the most effective and the fastest… it is quite simply to help him! And generally, it’ll take us maybe 3 minutes, instead of 10 getting annoyed. Rather profitable, isn’t it?
“But autonomy in all of this? »(Yes, yes, I can hear you from here! 😉)
One thing is certain, it is that at 18 years old, it is very likely that our child is independent when it comes to dressing. But autonomy, contrary to what one might think, does not come with learning, but with MOTIVATION. I become motivated to be independent when it comes to washing my clothes, driving (with the license), etc. the day I have a personal motivation to do it. Here are 3 more tips below that can help motivate him to run his morning routine more smoothly!
- family reunion
- to organize materially
- make him responsible
Third key: the 3 pillars to motivate them to stand up
As Einstein said: “If we always do the same thing, we cannot expect different results”. So, are you ready to try “new recipes” and a little more joy and less stress in your daily life?
1- Family reunion!
Involve to motivate
The more we involve our child to find a solution together, the more he will be motivated to respect a new organization! We bring everyone together around the table and talk about it! We start by posing the problem: ” I can’t make the most of mornings with my family. Every day, I feel like I’m overwhelmed, I would like more cooperation. So I had the idea that we make together a list of the morning missions, to be able to distribute them among us. You agree ?”.
The principle of this family council is that thewe let everyone talk and we write everything down : brush your teeth, butter the sandwiches, get dressed, put on shoes, cover breakfast, prepare the bottle, prepare the snack bag … Everyone gives ideas, as well as things that do not concern than him (ex: Dad has to shave) than others that concern everyone (ex: clearing the breakfast table).
Agree on the timing
Then, we can talk about the organization over time: in what order might we do all of this? If I woke Joy up before taking a shower, might that give her more time to emerge? And how long does each thing take? In the morning, everything is a little timed … if we realize that 10 minutes are missing to do everything, we advance the alarm a little bit, or we remove missions (ex: we can anticipate the maximum number of things to do the day before, like preparing the clothes or the snack bag).
When everything has been listed, everyone has their list of missions, on can make a family poster, or one sheet per person. And as I do my chores in the morning, I put a cross, or else I move my label. (Find our schedule “Morning routine for children” to download)
When assigning tasks, do not hesitate to take into account each person’s temperament and of course their opinion: “You Leon, you always get up first and you like to set the table. Could you do this every morning while I’m in my shower? If you want, I post here a photo of all the objects to put on the table so as not to forget anything. You do not mind ?”.
I advise you to test and you will be amazed at the enthusiasm of your children: they are so happy to participate, to be assigned missions! The main thing here is to involve them in the organization and ask their opinion. If you content yourself with making a list and assigning each of their missions without consulting them, it’s a fiasco guaranteed!
For older children, we can also integrate the time display, introduce chronos or hourglasses. For us parents, not being a “master of time” is very relaxing, and for the children, it is very effective: “It’s not mom who asks me to put on my shoes, but it’s the hourglass! If I’m late, it’s my responsibility. ”
After this first family reunion, the new organization is tested for a week. And if necessary, we organize a second meeting to adjust, the objective being to share the tasks with everyone, and to offer his children the satisfaction of having succeeded in accomplishing the list of his missions every morning.
Besides, do you secretly dream of a morning as sweet and perfect as a Ricoré family? If you want to learn all the keys to make them cooperate (without shouting too much …): enter your address to receive the free PACK “YES PAPA YES MOM”: all the keys to make them cooperate (without shouting)! A wealth of information and ideas on the subject, which can help you on a daily basis.
2- Material organization
You noticed it: young children love routine. They like everything to be in its place. As well enjoy ! For clothes, for example, we can suggest to the child to look at the weather forecast on our laptop in the evening, in order to choose the clothes accordingly and to put them himself in a well-defined place each evening.
This will avoid panicking for the right shoe or repeating “Put on your coat” 200 times to our child who cannot access it because the coat rack is too high!
In this regard, there are small arrangements that can completely transform everyday life and encourage our children to be more independent: hang a coat rack at their size, define a specific place to store shoes, give them a light footboard. so they can brush their teeth on their own …
3- We make him responsible (and let go)!
The more our child will have the feeling that things depend on him and that he cannot rely on his parents to think of everything, the more he will become independent.
And there, it’s up to us, parents, to do some work on ourselves: it’s up to us to accept that if he leaves without his snack, that is HIS problem; if he is late for school, that is HIS problem; if he leaves without his coat, that’s HIS problem. Obviously, you have to talk to him about it to prevent this from happening constantly, but let’s try to let go of the ballast. Non, if our child skips his snack, that does not make us a bad parent, nor him a malnourished!
There is also the right way to make him think about things! Instead of saying “You forgot your bag again!”, Let’s try “Have you thought about everything before you leave the house?”. In fact, instead of pointing out what he forgot, we give him a chance to think about it. And that makes all the difference 😉. We do not treat him as incapable, on the contrary, we trust him enough to think of everything he needs. I am not talking here only of a formulation or an intonation, but really of the way we look at our child at that moment and the intention that we put in our sentence: “I really want to help you to think about your business, because thanks to that you will grow and become more autonomous… and not lecture you because you forgot such or such thing ”. And at worst, if the idea does not come, we can try “Is the bag good, Loulou?” “
Finally, one last key: let’s not wait for everything to be perfect!
Despite our efforts to put all of this in place, we can’t expect everything to be perfect and turn out like a fairy tale every morning. Because our children are human beings, and we too, there will always be chaotic, speedy or nervous mornings. It’s part of life: we have the right not to be a perfect family (and so much the better!). Benevolence, one should not practice it only towards his children, but also towards oneself: wanting to improve, it is already enormous!
Ultimately, what we need to have peaceful mornings is confidence in our children, and indulgence in ourselves. So, are we trying to change?